I didn’t mean to go on a Tracee Ellis Ross binge. It started with her three-part Solo Traveling miniseries I was two months late, which honestly feels on brand for me and ended with me watching every interview she’s ever done like it was homework for a class called Becoming Yourself 101.
The funny thing is, I’ve known Tracee since Girlfriends. But watching her now, at 52, felt different. Growing up watching her I’ve always admired Tracee for her curls and her sense of confidence. Not only that she’s hilarious, reflective, and completely herself in a way that feels… peaceful.
She said something that hit me right in the gut: “Growing up, I felt like I was fighting to be in my skin.” I felt that on my 34th birthday.
That morning, I woke up, got dressed, and left my house alone for the first time in nine years. No kids. No husband. No guilt. I took myself to brunch, went shopping, bought things I didn’t need but definitely deserved, and for once I didn’t rush home feeling mom guilt.
So when Tracee talked about doing things alone and how solo travel gives her a sense of self it made perfect sense. I’ve spent most of my adult life being everything for everyone else. And yet, there’s something healing about hearing another woman say, “It’s okay to do things alone.” Because it is. That’s how you find yourself again somewhere between silence and room service and french fries.
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